Last fall one of my dearest friends announced that she was getting married for the second time. To say that her announcement was a surprise is an understatement. She and I belonged to a club of those who believed that they would never marry again. Somewhere along the way we realized the peril of making such emphatic proclamations. Since then, we vowed to “never say never”, knowing that the cosmos has a funny way of showing every soul what it will and won’t do. We agreed to simply let things be. Once she surrendered, “Mr. Right” swept in almost instantly. And almost as instantly he was gone.
What I admire most is that my friend is not embittered by experiencing what she believed to be true love, only to have it slip away. “Life got in the way”, she says in response to her short-lived romance. She was to be married one week from today.
I remember the Friday night she called to announce her engagement. She barely had enough time to plan, but in the day between his proposal and her announcement, she had managed to find a venue, select her music and secure the officiant and the entertainment. She even knew where she would order her cake and flowers, and had arranged travel and accommodations for her guests.
We watched a marathon of bridal shows that night as we spoke over the phone. The next day we met to shop for her wedding dress. For fun, I even tried on one. But that is a story for another time. Her wedding was to be a small, intimate gathering of only those who had been there with her during the darkest days of her life. We looked forward to a time of great celebration. To my friend, there is still cause to celebrate.
She recently confessed that he wasn’t really “the one”; but he was close. Years ago she compiled a list of attributes that would inform her sensibilities that she had in fact found the man with whom she would spend the rest of her life. Her former lover met all of her requirements except two. And they had been deal breakers…until she met him.
You see, she felt that she was so close to her ideal that she began to second guess herself, thinking that the men and the magazines were right: she was being too picky. So what if he didn’t meet all of the requirements on her list. So what that she was getting ready to commit to two things she swore she’s never do again. And so what that these two issues were causing her to withhold a part of herself that she wanted freely give.
Today, she is thankful that Life relieved her of her decision. Today, she laughs at the mistake that she almost made. She has happily moved on in anticipation of proving the media and the cynics incorrect; still believing that she deserves the best and that the very best is finding his way to her.
She is slightly bruised, but not entirely broken. And the “One”; the Real One has found her. Getting down the aisle is not her priority. Her unadulterated and much deserved happiness is her only focus. I pray that this truth for you in your life as well.
Camille
