"You are the sexiest thing in _____ ! (name of state withheld to protect the guilty)
I love looking at your pic. You are dead sexy!
Love you lots!"
This is the body of a text message that Rose received at 2am Sunday morning. Because she had been asleep when the text came in and did not recognize the sender's number, she did not respond to the text and chose to go back to sleep. A moment later, my friend sat straight up in her bed. Something was not right.
Rose would not send a picture to anyone not programmed in her phone. No one in her circle of friends uses phrases like, "You are dead sexy". She powered on her computer and ran the number through a phone search engine. The search did not produce a name but it did produce a location. She didn't know anyone in that particular area. Now she was annoyed and concerned.
She scrolled down to the bottom of the message and saw a number that she recognized. That person had received this message as well. It was all coming together now...the unknown sender was responding (via “reply all”) to a picture sent by someone in Rose's contact list. And the unknown sender was obviously a woman.
Since she was awake now, Rose decided to call her contact...for shits and giggles. He had been pursuing Rose for a few months, insisting that she was the only one that he was interested in (heard it all before, Dude!) She told her contact about the message, emphasizing that she didn't like it that someone unknown to her had her number; and she wanted to hear the lie that would ensue. And lie is exactly what he did.
"Oh, that was my friend,______”, he stuttered. “I sent the picture to you and HIM at the same time. I need to tell him to be more careful. You know we getting old and don't know how to use these phones like them young folks".
Rose laughed as she mocked her friend's desperate stuttering. He didn't need to be desperate. He didn’t need to stutter. She gave him all the time he needed to tell his lie. Hell, he didn't have to lie; he never stood a chance with Rose in the first place.
I asked Rose how she left things with her friend.
"Girl, you know I have allergies! I'm allergic to shit that don't make no sense!"
She continued, "I let him finish this lie and listened to him tell a few more about how much he loves me and wants to get with me. Then I got off the damn phone! If I was having any doubts about having kicked his ass to the curb, I don’t anymore after that call!"
There a number of points to this story; I'll leave you with two:
1). Why lie? I don't buy that Steve Harvey/Michael Baisden bullshit about men lying because they care; and
2). LEARN TO USE YOUR DAMN CELL PHONE FEATURES!
Got to be mo' careful!!