Tuesday, September 21, 2010

And the Penises are Flying! The Sport of Online Dating

A friend of mine whom I shall call “Rose” has been sharing stories regarding her recent re-entry into the online dating game. Her stories are comical and heartrending at once. With her gracious consent, I will chronicle her adventure over my next few entries.

The humor of her search is easily observed in the way in which a majority of people introduce themselves to a dating site; they are legends in their own minds. The men have the largest penises ever, and the women have the skills of “Superhead”.  Those who are married are unfulfilled and the singles are looking for “Mr. or Mrs. Right”…or so they say.  I feel for my friend and I wish her the best.

After discovering that the guy, in which she thought she was dating exclusively, was using a particularly sexually explicit dating site, Rose opened her first account on that same site, as well as on a few others.

Within a few weeks, Rose deleted all of her profiles. She had received graphic sexual proposals, marriage proposals, declarations of undying love and requests for cash, many coming after only one or two online conversations.  

On one occasion Rose asked a man how his last relationship ended.

“I killed her”, he joked.

Rose did not share his humor. Out of an abundance of caution and determined not to end up face down in a ditch simply because she wanted companionship, she ended their contact. The man did not know that a local woman was murdered by her online beau after she attempted to confront him about his marital status.

Fast forward one year.  All attempts at “traditional” dating have been futile.

Rose has posted her profile once again on the site where it all began.

And the penises are flying off of the page!

She emphatically states in her profile that she doesn’t want to see and will not respond to initial contacts that include “erotic” photos.  

The penises are still flying!

And two contacts are already in love…yikes!

I’ll keep you posted.