Tuesday, September 21, 2010

The Sport of Online Dating: Rose is on a Roll!

There are certain men that my friend Rose simply will not respond to. Here’s a summary:

a). Men old enough to be her father.  Rose has nothing against her father.

Rose once said, “An old man will die of a broken heart fooling with me; I’ll wake up every morning and, finding him alive, think to myself, Damn! He’s still here! I can’t lie; I’d be with him for his money and all the while waiting for him to slip on a banana peel. I can’t do that, because I love my father”.

On another occasion, a man much older than her father (again, Rose has nothing against her father) told her,
                “I love you, but I can’t do the things that those young cats can do for you; and I’m in bed by eight o’clock every night”.

Rose smiled at the gentleman and thought,
                “And I’ll be outta the damn door by eight thirty! ‘Cuz I need things done that only those young cats can do!”

b). Married men. Rose doesn’t need to go online to date a married man. She is propositioned daily. 

Besides, this country is still in a recession/depression, depending upon who you ask. The financial climate forced most married men back home last year (if their key still fit) and/or to second jobs. They don't have the time or the perks anymore.

c). Men who take pictures of themselves in front of a mirror (naked or clothed) with their camera phone...Dude, WE CAN SEE YOUR PHONE!

And speaking of pictures; four different men have sent Rose their profiles using the SAME GOOGLE™ PICTURE! What are the odds of quadruplets of differing ages being separated at birth and living in four different states striking the same pose?  Does that good-looking Italian type know his photo is being used like that? And what are the odds of Rose meeting THAT MAN?

d). Men whose profile picture is his P-GPS (personal GPS).  What the hell can you learn about a man by only looking at his….?

One man explained that he cannot post a picture of his FACE because of his line of work. Ok…so what if someone recognizes your P-GPS?  And…is that really YOUR P-GPS?

To those who would say “size matters” and would have my friend give sole consideration to the P-GPS picture I say this:

The size of the P-GPS doesn't matter if it belongs to an old, married, bi-polar, serial killer with three brothers that look just like him profiling online that the size of his P-GPS causes him to walk “that way” when he knows damn well that his particular brand of swagger is the result of “time served”...

We want Rose to get her “size”…and live to tell about it!  I’m just sayin’!

Rose is definitely on a roll…stay tuned!